Wizard Gamer's Exploits
by ThisMan
Summary: Harry, ever the NERD!, woke up with a NERD! power. The power of turning your life into a video game. Harry, ever the gamer, learns to exploit the hell out of it. Starts off a bit slow. Just your ususal Gamer fic. Rated M for violence in the future and some pretty colorful language.
1. Harry's a NERD!

"Talking"

" _Different Language. It doesn't matter which one._ "

 _Thoughts_

 **[Gaming shit]**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or even The Gamer. Slight crossover, by the way.**

* * *

Six year old Harry Potter was just enjoying his evening, when suddenly he was hit by a belt buckle! Dammit, he forgot that he was still being whipped by his Uncle Vernon for fucking up dinner. Dammit, his day just got bad again. But wait! There's more! He was so damn good at cooking that this never happened. His uncle purposely mixed up his spice drawer and fucked with the labels so that he could have a whipping session with poor old Harry.

Damn, his uncle was mean. Oh well, it's not like he cared anymore. After all, he had an entirely different life than them. On many online games, he was a well known and well respected figure. Not that _that_ mattered either, but it was still fun. You see, Harry Potter had nothing to do with reality whatsoever, because of his uncle. If he did better than his uncle's whale of a son, Dudley, he would be punished. If he did anything other than cooking and cleaning, he would be punished. There was absolutely no way of getting a job like this, and there was absolutely no way of gaining any income to survive on his own in the future. So, he relied on video games to take him out of his shitty hell called life and take him into a fantasy world of nothing but fun.

So, after his uncle whipped the hell out of him, he was sent to his "room" (AKA the Cupboard Under The Stairs) with the kind words "IF YOU LEAVE THE CUPBOARD ANYTIME BEFORE MORNING, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Of course, his Aunt Petunia covered poor six-year-old Dudley's ears so he didn't have to hear the _terrible_ swearing and cussing. Oh, and the loud voice. And so, Harry went on his way to go to his little cubby.

At midnight, Harry left his cupboard, technically not breaking any rules. However, he was still very quiet so that he didn't wake any of his 'family' up. He slowly crept up the stairs and into the room that was labeled "Dudley's Storage". This was where it all began.

Dudley was the definition of a spoiled child. Anything he wanted, he would get. He got the latest technology and games, and whenever he got a new computer, he'd dump the old one in his storage, never to be seen again. The same thing happened with his computer games. So, two years ago, when Harry was four, he snuck into the storage room and cleared out a small space in the back, mapping a path through the piles of junk to be able to get there easily and noiselessly. For nine days, he mapped the path, cleared the area, and set up the computer on the table in the back. He soundproofed the door easily by using a pile of pillows and blankets in the corner to cover the door area. This also had a nice side effect of not letting the light from the computer screen shine out of the room at all. After everything was set up, he picked up his first game and inserted it into the computer. It was something called a "mimorpig". Why would someone spell out an inpronouncable word like MMORPG? Idiots.

The MMORPG, as he learned was an acronym for Mass Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, was one of magic and medieval times, with dragons, knights, and mages. He himself was a battle mage, with a staff and high magic power, with mid level strength and agility. A lot of people said that it was a bad idea to go for more than one type of character, which was called an all-arounder, because while you would have balanced stats, they would all be weak, whereas if you go for a single type of player, you would have extremely high stats of the character that you are, such as a mage with high magic power, or a berzerker with high strength stats.

Harry understood a lot about how the game worked, and as such prepared himself for great distance and acceptable close combat abilities to stay alive. Now, after two years of playing the game, he was ranked one of the best players in the world.

Harry snuck to his computer and turned it on, putting the game in and loading his character. A disadvantage about playing in the night was the fact that everyone he played with spoke a different language than he did, because it wasn't night where they were and they were still allowed to be awake and play it. So, in his free time during the day, he learned different languages, such as Japanese, Mandarin, and Hindi. Now, he had plenty of friends that he could communicate with quickly and have fun with them all night.

" _Hey guys, I'm back on again!_ " Harry said, talking to his friends currently in the guild at the time. He heard a chorus of 'hello's and one 'fuck you'. That guy was new and didn't know Harry very well. And he was American. He had coffee all the time and was really cranky.

" _Hey Jasper, you want to grind today?_ " Harry's friend asked. Harry replied with a quick 'yes'. It should be important to point out that Harry didn't want to use his real name, so he just chose one of the random ones, and he got Jasper Velasquez. He didn't know if there was a person out there with that name, but he didn't care.

Harry's friend, Toby, and he went grinding for some EXP that night, raising their strength level. Toby was in the same boat as Harry, just not as strong. While Toby had high magic power, his strength and agility were weak as fuck, so they went out to grind it up. Harry got seven strength points and two agility points, while Toby got four strength and five agility. That took up most of the night, so Harry got off and went to sleep for a bit.

* * *

Next morning, Harry woke up at seven a.m. in a daze. Why, oh why, did he stay up so late grinding with good ole' Toby? Wait a second, is that a box in front of him?

Indeed, there was a blue, floating box. Ooh, it had words on it.

 **[You slept in your own bed. HP & MP 100% restored]**

Okay, what in the actual fuck.


	2. Harry's a GAMER!

**A/N: Status windows and the like won't be using the [Gaming Bracket] because it's an entire window and will look off balanced from the center if I put the brackets down and I dislike things being unorganized in my writing. Just thought I'd let you know. By the way, I'm a terribly inconsistent writer.**

"Talking"

" _Different Language. Doesn't matter which one._ "

 _Thoughts_

 **[Gaming Shit]**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or even The Gamer. Slight crossover, by the way.**

* * *

What the literal, tit-slapping fuck, was this?

 **[You have slept in your own bed. HP & MP 100% restored]**

He was hallucinating, right? He _did_ play games every single night for the past two years. That had to be the only explanation, right?

Just to be sure, he clicked the small red 'x' in the corner of the screen, and it went away.

 _Holy fucking shit! I actually felt that button! WHAT THE FUCK?!_

There was a little freakout going on in his head.

 _Okay, calm down. Think about this logically. If my life turned into a fucking_ game _, then there has to be something like a status screen. Okay, let's try it._

Somehow regaining his calm, he whispered, "Menu." Nothing.

"Status." A screen popped up in front of him, scaring the living shit out of him.

 _AAHH! FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? HOLY JESUS!_ Okay, now that he was calm, he could look at it logically. It had words on it, that was good.

 **Harry Potter  
[The Gamer]  
LVL: 2 {EXP: 0/1000}**

 **Title: None  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £0/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 50/50  
MP: 50/50**

 **STR: 3  
DEX: 5  
AGI: 4  
INT: 1  
WIS: 2  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: Malnourished, Short**

 **Points to Allocate: 0**

To the left of all of that was a big picture of his body, with clothes on it. It showed boxes with clothes, and a little avatar of him wearing the clothes. Huh, does this mean that it really was like a video game? That means that there would be an inventory and some sort of skills window. Well, skills first.

"Skills," Harry whispered. The screen in front of him changed to have a list of skills. Naturally, since it was a skills window, it would have skills. God damn he was stupid. Okay, time to read.

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

Well, that explained why he stopped freaking out so quickly. Still, freaky shit.

"Whoa, hold on, there's an options menu? I _have_ to check this shit out. Options," Harry stated. The screen in front of him shrunk down a considerable amount and options came up.

 **Blood and Gore: {On}  
** ** _Note: This only affects whether you bleed or not_**

 **ID Automatic Enter: {On}**

 **Subtitles: {Off}**

 **HUD: {Off}**

 **Difficulty: {** Legendary **}**

 **Automatic Skill Creation: {On}**

 **Tutorials: {** Off **}**

There seemed to be some useful shit in there. Harry quickly turned on the HUD, turned off the ID Auto Enter, and turned off the Blood and Gore. He tried turning down the difficulty, but another window popped up in front of it.

 **[You must first complete Legendary Difficulty before attempting another difficulty]**

What the hell? That fuckin' cheeky ass mother fucking pric-

"Wake the hell up, freak!" Oh yeah, he was supposed to make breakfast. Dammit.

 **[New Quest: Don't Burn It!**

 **Make breakfast for the Dursleys! And make sure not to burn it!**

 **Requirements:**

 **2 eggs per person (not including yourself)  
** **3 pieces of bacon per person (not including yourself)  
** **1 piece of buttered toast per person (not including yourself)  
** **2 pancakes per person (not including yourself)**

 **Completion Reward:**

 **50 EXP  
** **Skill: [Cooking]  
** **+5 Reputation with Dursley Family**

 **Failure Reward:**

 **10 EXP  
** **10 Belt Lashings  
** **-100 Reputation with Dursley Family**

 **Accept? Y/N**

Well, that just didn't seem fair. Only a gain of five reputation with the Dursleys for completing it, but a subtraction of one hundred for failing? Gaming life was just always against him!

Not that he would know, considering he just got the ability less than five minutes ago.

Still, he clicked the Y button, guessing it meant Yes.

Oh yeah, response! "Coming, Uncle Vernon!" Harry got up and got dressed in his hand-me-downs of six sizes too big, opening the door to his cupboard to start getting breakfast ready for them.

As soon as he opened the cupboard door, his uncle picked him up and physically tossed him into the kitchen. Damn, he must be hungry.

As he was preparing the breakfast for his lovely family, he took a look at his inventory.

 **Items: 0/2500**

Well, at least he knew he could store a lot of things.

Halfway through dinner, Harry had an epiphany. He toasted and buttered one extra piece of toast and placed it in his inventory. Now, he'd wait a couple of days to take it out again, to see if the inventory kept it hot and fresh, or if it would just mold and smell like shit. He was hoping for the former.

He also wanted to see what would happen should he fail the mission, but he'd try it with something a little less painful as a failure 'reward'. Little did he know, everything else would involve imminent death.

Harry cooked everything with the grace and style of a fuckin' master chef, and served it like a... servant. But, he did get a nice little notification from it.

 **Quest Complete!**

 **Rewards:**

 **50 EXP  
Skill: [Cooking]  
+5 Reputation with Dursley Family**

Harry wanted to check out his cooking skill to see what it would be, so he went back to the kitchen to clean the dishes and checked it out. "Skills."

Once again, the window popped up, except now it didn't startle him as much. He didn't even bother looking at the other two and stared at what he was looking for.

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

Damn, this game is really weird. Harry wondered what it meant by something more than the ladies' friendship. Maybe it'll give you familial relations. Oh well, a mystery for another time. Though, he wondered why his cooking skill started out so high. Was it because he already knew how to cook?

 _That's interesting, so skills that you already have still have to be created, but when they are created they will appear at the level you perform those actions. Ok, I think I'm getting the gist of this gamer ability. Maybe I can level up my skills by constantly using them. If that's the case, then I want to start creating skills._

 **[For making a correct deduction, your INT goes up by 1!]**

 _So, getting knowledge levels up my INT. That's helpful, but does that mean that using that knowledge correctly levels up my WIS?_ Harry wondered. He decided to make a plan on what to level up and when. He'd start paying attention in school, and during lunch he'd go to the LMC for some reading to level up his INT. For strength, he'd start doing small exercises at night. Speaking of which, he was going to start taking days off from his gaming for this Gamer ability.

 **[For using your knowledge wisely, your WIS goes up by 1!]**

Huh, so using your knowledge _does_ raise your wis. Maybe he should start playing chess or something.

* * *

 **Footnote: That's a wrap! This is the "laying out the groundwork" arc of the story, so it will be another chapter or two before anything serious happens. Also, I made Harry six years old for the start of this story so that he will be an average level by the end of the five years. The only way for him to level up right now is to do quests like cook breakfast every morning, and those give 50 EXP so it will take about five years to reach level six. He was too preoccupied to notice any names, titles, and numbers above the Dursleys' heads because he wanted to get his cooking skill. He will be working on his stats so they won't be so terrible, but don't expect CHA or LUK to get raised at all until Hogwarts.**

 **I will only highlight a couple of things in the next few chapters so it will only be a few chapters until Harry reaches Hogwarts and starts his craziness and psychotic tendencies.**

 **Oh yeah, and I will be putting down his final stats of the chapter at the bottom right here. Here you go.**

 **Harry Potter  
** **[The Gamer]  
** **LVL: 2 {EXP: 50/1000}**

 **Title: None  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £0/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 50/50  
MP: 50/50**

 **STR: 3  
DEX: 6  
AGI: 5  
INT: 2  
WIS: 3  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: Malnourished, Short**

 **Points to Allocate: 0**

 **Skills:**

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

 **Reputation:**

 **Dursley Family: -4995/10000 {Hated}  
Little Whinging: -500/10000 {Disliked}**


	3. Harry's a WORKER BEE!

"Talking"

" _Different Language. Doesn't matter which one_ "

 _Thoughts_

 **[Gamer shit]**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or even The Gamer. Slight crossover, by the way.**

* * *

Harry spent the past few weeks reading books in school and paying attention, and got four INT from it. At night, he went online and started playing chess with random peope. He gain 2 WIS from that. As it turns out, chess is fucking _difficult_! So naturally, he quit chess. Now, he just does yoga. Because of that , he's already gained 1 DEX point in two days. Not the greatest, but hey, every bit helps!

Oh, and he leveled up once. That, unfortunately, raised the EXP requirement for levelling up again.

Anyway, back to the story. Harry was just walking home casually, minding his own business, when he saw a phenomenon. A whale was walking on land!

Oh, wait, that was just his cousin. Never mind.

"Hey Harry, I'm going to give you to the count of three to start running. My friends and I have just thought up a new game, and it's called 'Harry Hunting'! Can you guess what it's about?" Dudley asked in what sounded like a pitiful attempt at a scary voice. Instead, it just sounded like a petulant child's whining. Eh, whatever.

Harry just smiled at him, waved goodbye, and started running.

 **[Because of your action, you have created the skill [Running]!]**

Oh, cool. Maybe it will help him.

As it turned out, it did help him. It helped a lot. When Dudley's friends joined him, Harry sped up, running as quickly as he could.

 **[Because of your action, you have created the skill [Sprinting]!]**

Oh, boy! Another thing to help him! Hopefully it was just as useful as the other one!

 **[For your continuous running, your AGI goes up by 1!]**

Well, that happened. Maybe it really was a great skill.

Nope. It had him dead tired in exactly five minutes.

Yeah, not a good day at all. Unless you count the good parts. And the extra skills. And the extra INT point he got. And the extra AGI point he got.

And also, what's with all the exclamation points?

* * *

When Harry got back to his faithful cupboard for a little rest before making dinner, he brought up his skills page.

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

 **[Running (Passive) {LVL: 1}]  
Passive: 10% AGI increase  
Running helps you run faster, dumbass. At this level, you run 4 mph.**

 **[Sprinting (Active) {LVL: 1}]  
MP Cost: 10 MP per minute  
Sprinting makes you sprint faster, dumbass. At this level, you sprint 8 mph.**

Well, that was just _rude_. And also explains why he was worn out so quickly before. From what he remembered of his stats, he only had 50 MP, and that meant it took 5 minutes to take all of it away. But the question was, how long to get it back up to 100%?

"Status."

 **Harry Potter  
** **[The Gamer]  
** **LVL: 3 {EXP: 500/1500}**

 **Title: None  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £0/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 15/50  
MP: 0/50**

 **STR: 3  
DEX: 6  
AGI: 5  
INT: 7  
WIS: 5  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: Malnourished, Short**

 **Points to Allocate: 10**

Harry tried clicking on his MP to see if there was any regeneration for it. There was.

 **[MP: Magic Power. Current Regeneration: 0.5 MP per minute]**

What the hell? Why was it so low? Well, it _does_ make sense, considering there has to be a starting point.

Harry was suddenly given a quest to complete. This was new. He ususally only did quests for making breakfast, so why was a dinner quest popping up?

 **[New Quest: Don't Screw Up!**

 **Petunia Dursley is too busy with cleaning the house and can't make dinner today. Do it for her!**

 **Requirements:**

 **Make whatever you feel like, but make it good  
Don't use vegetables, the Dursleys don't like them  
Make enough food for fifteen people, each Dursley counts as 5 people**

 **Bonus:**

 **Make a little something for yourself  
Don't get caught!**

 **Completion Rewards:**

 **+50 EXP  
+5 Reputation with Dursleys  
+10 Reputation with Petunia Dursley**

 **Bonus Rewards:**

 **Skill: [Sneak]  
Cure Ailment: [Malnourished]**

 **Failure Rewards:**

 **10 EXP  
10 Belt Lashings  
-100 Reputation with Dursley Family]**

Okay, time to make some EXP.

Harry made some food for the Dursleys, made extra for himself, and placed the extra in his inventory. He needed to eat, after all.

 **[Quest Complete!**

 **Rewards:**

 **+50 EXP  
+5 Reputation with Dursley Family  
+10 Reputation with Petunia Dursley**

 **Bonus:**

 **Skill: [Sneak]**

 **Eat your food later to cure Ailment: [Malnourished]]**

Harry sighed. It was a bumpy ride today, but he _did_ get a lot out of it.

Damn, he needed some sleep.

* * *

 **[You have slept in your own bed. HP & MP 100% restored]**

 _Thanks for telling me, box._

Harry got out of bed groggily, and stood up, starting to get ready for school.

Even as he walked out the door, his mind was still hazy from sleep.

When he got to class, he woke up instantly.

 _What the hell?! Why does everyone have a level? And why the hell are they all three levels higher than me? That's bullshit!_ Harry raved in his head.

 **[Because of your action, you have created the skill [Observe]!]**

Hey, that's a nice surprise!

 _Suck it, bitches! You don't have a badass ability like I do that makes these things possible! Fuck you and your god-damn, cock-sucking, piece of shit_ levels _! I've got the power! FUCK ALL OF YOU!_

 **[Because of your action, you have created the skill [Cuss]!]**

 _Dammit!_

* * *

 **Footnote: Another Chapter! Yes, Chapter is capitalized. No, I don't know why.**

 **I should probably explain how the Reputation system works in this. I don't know if y'all will figure it out sooner rather than later. So, the max reputation someone can get is 10,000. The lowest is -10,000. Dursleys hate Harry, except to get -10,000 means that they want to torture and then kill him, then maybe rape his dead body. The only person that will have a constant -10,000 in this story will be Voldemort. He likes to torture, kill, and rape, right? So, yeah. -10,000. -5000 all the way to -1000 is Hate, then -1000 to 0 is Dislike, 0 is Neutral, 1 to 1000 is Like, 1001 to 5000 is Honored, and finally 5001 and above is Love. Serious Lovin' is goin' on HEAR.**

 **And all this reputation stuff is put in a screen called 'Reputation', and Harry will probably never see it. He just knows that he is gaining reputation and losing it. It just means too little for it to be of any importance. So, yeah. I'm going to keep track of it because I am a very thorough writer that is not thorogh at all and want to have another detail to take up more space. I mean, add to the length- ah, add to the _detail_ and _impressiveness_ of the story. Yeah.**

 **One more thing, and I'll be done with this Footnote. These stats on the bottom are all the screens affecting Harry directly put together. The skills screen, the reputation screen, the status screen. ARVERETHING.**

 **Yeah. Bye.**

 **Harry Potter  
** **[The Gamer]  
** **LVL: 3 {EXP: 500/1500}**

 **Title: None  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £0/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 50/50  
MP: 50/50**

 **STR: 3  
DEX: 6(+0.6)=6.6  
AGI: 5(+0.5)=5.5  
INT: 7  
WIS: 5  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: Malnourished, Short**

 **Points to Allocate: 10**

 **Skills:**

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

 **[Observe (Active) {LVL: 2}]  
MP Cost: 1 Per Observation  
You see it, but do you really _see_ it? Use [Observe] to get information on it!**

 **[Running (Passive) {LVL: 1}]  
Running helps you run faster, dumbass. At this level, you run 4 mph.**

 **[Sprinting (Active) {LVL: 1}]  
MP Cost: 10 MP per minute  
Sprinting makes you sprint faster, dumbass. At this level, you sprint 8 mph.**

 **[Sneak (Active) {LVL: 1}]  
Passive: +10% DEX  
Passive: 2% Chance of Successful Sneak  
Active: 30% DEX  
Active: 6% Chance of Successful Sneak  
You sneaky little thing, you! With this, you can hide in the shadows like a ninja! Works Hand-in-Hand with [Steal], [Lockpick], and [Pickpocket]**

 **[Cuss (Active) {LVL: 72}]  
MP Cost: 0  
Do you get mad sometimes? Sometimes the best way to vent all of that anger is to just throw some vulgar language around! It'll get you calm in _no time_!**

 **Reputation:**

 **Dursley Family: -4850/10000 {Hated}  
Petunia Dursley: -4840/10000 {Hated}  
** **Little Whinging: -500/10000 {Disliked}**


	4. Harry's a CHEATER!

"Talking"

" _Different Language. Doesn't matter which one._ "

 _Thoughts_

 **[Gamer shit]**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or even The Gamer. Slight crossover, by the way.**

* * *

 **[You have slept in your own bed. HP & MP 100% restored]**

Well, thank you kind screen of floating blueness. (By the way, the screen is blue. I don't think I mentioned that before. There you go.)

Harry stood up and stretched his nine year old body. Ever since he got his **[Malnourished]** ailment out of the way, he has been working out and running a lot to get rid of the **[Short]** ailment. Finally, after three years, it was _gone._ In its place was 11 STR points and a skill, **[Physical Enhancement]**. It enhanced his body. Passively, it enhanced his strength by 10%. Actively, 50% enhancement. Holy. Fucking. Llama.

Harry didn't think he'd ever use the active part, for the simple fact that it took plenty of MP, but it was still a great buff for the passive side, too. Then he realized that his MP regen was higher than the MP cost. SKILL ABUSE TIME!

Over the past three years, he has kept on one or two things as much as possible, and as such, levelled up his abilities. His cooking was now at level 24, his **[Observe** **]** was at 11, his **[Running]** was at 16, his **[Sprinting]** was at 19, and his **[Sneak]** was at 13. He also noticed that his **[Cuss]** went up to 136. Fuck. It's definitely making fun of him, the bitch ass, tissue-raping, shi-

 **[Due to constant use, the skill [Cuss] has levelled up]**

Well, shit. There it goes again.

Oh yeah, and he levelled up twice.

Of course, the constant running also levelled up his AGI 8 more times.

Harry had been paying attention in school, read almost every nonfiction book there was in the school, and started back up with his late-night chess games, which resulted in his INT going up 14 times and his WIS 12. As it turns out, every 10 points of INT raises the MP pool by 25. Also, every 10 WIS increases MP Regen by 10. Who'd've thunk?

Harry got out of bed and absently put on his clothes, now only two sizes too large, and went to the kitchen to start cooking some food. As always, he made a little extra and put it away into his inventory to eat later. While he was at it, he grabbed a few water bottles out of the fridge and did the same thing.

Now, it was time to see if he could find some exploits in this shit!

"Okay, so I've gotten good enough that I can survive well enough. Now, I need to make some skills. The bullshit abilities that allow me to fuck with people. Like, I don't know, teleportation or some shit. Just give me something!" Harry said to himself. He pushed his MP to his hands, where they glowed slightly. He pushed enough to get the glow to become some sort of cloud above his skin. That took just about eighty mana! Bad idea, but LET'S KEEP GOING!

He started moving the mana around like one would a cup of water. Slow and steady. Suddenly...

 **[Because of your action, you have created the skill [Magic Manipulation]!]**

Well, there's that! Ooh, how exciting! Let's see what it does! "Skills! Magic Manipulation!" That's another thing that he learned about his ability. If you don't want to search through all the skills just to see the one you want, then call out the one you want beforehand and it'll only show that one.

 **[Magic Manipulation (Passive) {LVL: 1}]  
** **Passive: -5% MP cost for all MP skills  
Passive: 5% easier to make MP skills  
** **Do you want to use MP but not have enough of it? Well, here's your answer!**

Ooh, that'll help with just about every active skill there ever was and ever will be! Now to level it up.

Harry spent the rest of the day running around the block. Sorry, _sprinting_ around the block. His mana regen was up to 27.5 per minute, and his sprint only took 2.9 per minute with the **[Magic Manipulation]** skill, so he activated his Physical Enhancement skill, which left 5.6 MP per minute regen with no decrease.

 **[Through continuous use, your [Sprint] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Physical Endurance] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Magic Manipulation] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Running] skill has levveled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Physical Endurance] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Magic Manipulation] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Physical Endurance] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Magic Manipulation] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Running] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Physical Endurance] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Magic Manipulation] skill has levelled up!]**

 **[Through continuous use, your [Sprint] skill has levelled up!]**

Okay, that was enough for the day. Harry ran home.

 **[Through continuous use, your [Running] skill has levelled up!]**

Cool.

* * *

 **[You have slept in your own bed. HP & MP 100% restored]**

Alright, time to get back to work. Since school is out for the summer, that means entire days for breaking the game called Life!

Harry got out of bed and went outside, doing the same thing he did yesterday, except the difference was that he could break the game even more. On top of just the **[Sprint]** and **[Physical Endurance]** skill, he was going to activate the **[Sneak]** skill. He found out that you don't have to be crouching in The Game to activate the skill, like most other games. You just need to activate it like every other skill, Voice Command and a little Magic.

And so the day begins.

After a total of nine hours of sprinting, the [Sprint] skill went up by two, the **[Physical Endurance]** skill went up by 8, the **[Mana Manipulation]** skill went up by 13, and the **[Sneak]** skill went up by 3. All in all, a successful nine hours.

 **[New Quest: Fuck Up and You're Dead!**

 **You are standing in front of a dungeon. Accept this quest, you go in. Deny the quest and you don't. Simple!**

 **Requirements:**

 **1\. Go into the dungeon  
2\. Survive the dungeon  
3\. Defeat the boss**

 **Completion Rewards:**

 **+500 EXP  
+£200  
Skill: [ID Create]  
Title [Vermin Hunter]**

 **Failure Rewards:**

 **Death**

 **Accept? Y/N]**

Holy fuck.

...

...

...

Fuck it. "Yes."

A section of the wall opened up in front of Harry, revealing a staircase only lit by the occasional torch. The staircase was leading _down._ Now, if anyone knows anything about anything, it's the fact that you never go down into a deep, dark hole with a staircase in it that's only lit by torches from the mid twelfth century. The time of the torches was just a guess, by the way.

Still, fuck it.

Harry wandered down into the hole slowly and carefully, picking up a torch from the torch holder on the wall. Once he got to the bottom of the staircase, he saw that someone was kind enough to place a weapons rack right there. He decided to look at each and every weapon.

"Observe."

 **[A rusted mace. It'll work for low-levelled creatures.  
Durability: 10/20]**

"Observe."

 **[A rusted sword. It'll have trouble cutting anything other than low-levelled creatures.  
** **Durability: 10/20]**

"Observe."

 **[A rusted shield. It'll only protect against low-levelled creatures  
** **Durability: 22/30]**

"Observe."

 **[A splintered staff. It'll only channel low-levelled spells.  
Durability: 4/10]**

In the end, Harry decided to go with the rusted mace and the rusted shield. It would help hit things away from him, if they were too dangerous.

Harry started travelling into the dungeon, which was quite literally a dungeon. Then, he heard scattering noises. Slowly, he turned around, afraid of what he might find.

It was a mouse. But it was fucking huge. As in, 'three-feet-tall-and-four-feet-long' huge. And it had blood on its whiskers. FUCK!

"Observe!"

 **Dungeon Rat  
** **LVL: 6**

 **HP: 100/100  
MP:20/20**

 **Dungeon Rats are fast and have strong jaws and teeth, but they are not strong overall. Land a solid blow on its underside to kill it the quickest.**

That was... surprisingly helpful. Okay.

The dungeon rat started charging. Admittedly, it was fast, but not as fast as Harry was able to go. In response to its speed, Harry pulled his mace arm back and put a little mana in his arm, ready to unload it on the rat, as he kept the shield in front of him for the rat to hit. As soon as the rat hit his shield, he let his arm launch the head of the mace directly into the rat's side, knocking it off its feet. In response to that, the rat rolled over landing once more on its feet. It growled menacingly at him.

Harry was the one to charge this time, pulling his mace back, ready to slam it down on the head of the rat. The rat, however, dodged the strike and bit his arm.

"Agh!" Harry shouted in pain. That bite took him down 40 HP! He quickly activated **[Physical Endurance]** and hit the rat again. Once the rat backed away, Harry **[Observe]** d it again. The rat was down to 28/100, so Harry needed one or two more strikes to finish it off. Hopefully he only needed one. He activated **[Sprint]** and charged the rat faster than it could move, and struck it on the leg, knocking it over. Then he kicked it in the stomach, finishing it off in the place that the **[Observe]** said to strike it the whole time.

 **[+100 EXP]**

Cool, more EXP.

* * *

 **Footnote: I'm making these so fast that I am actually going back and correcting everything I do. It's terrible! I've already added more stuff and made corrections for Chapter 2 a total of six times, and Chapter 3 four times! Fuck, I'm terrible at this! Oh well, if you enjoy it, that's cool.**

 **The reason that I'm writing all these in a row is because I have nothing to do today, except maybe some Pokemon GO. Just joking.**

 **Seriously though, am I the only one noticing that the amount of people playing it is just stupid. It's, like, a Pokemon Epidemic! I live in the good ole' United States of Amrackia, and if you just take a stroll down the street, there is maybe one jogger that isn't on his/her phone, trying to CATCH 'EM ALL!**

 **I've only caught about twenty. And hatched one egg.**

 **It's peer pressure, alright?**

 **By the way, just so that people know, the [Cuss] skill is just a joke. There will be absolutely no future uses in it than just Harry Potter saying something like "Fuck you, Snape! You greasy-ass, bat-looking motherfucker! You big-nosed bitch! You cape-wearin' cock-suckin CHILD MOLESTER!"**

 **Actually, I might add a skill like [Spell Making] and start naming the spells after cuss words. That sounds fun.**

 **Harry Potter  
** **[The Gamer]  
** **LVL: 5 {EXP: 150/2500}**

 **Title: None  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £0/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 70/70  
MP: 120/120**

 **STR: 14(+1.4)=15.4  
DEX: 6(+1.4)=7.4  
AGI: 13(+3.38)=16.4  
INT: 21  
WIS: 27  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: None**

 **Points to Allocate: 30**

 **Skills:**

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 24}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

 **[Observe (Active) {LVL: 11}]  
MP Cost: 1 Per Observation  
You see it, but do you really _see_ it? Use [Observe] to get information on it!**

 **[Running (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
Passive: 26% AGI increase  
** **Running helps you run faster, dumbass. At this level, you run 22 mph.**

 **[Sprinting (Active) {LVL: 21}]  
MP Cost: 3 MP per minute  
Sprinting makes you sprint faster, dumbass. At this level, you sprint 28 mph.**

 **[Sneak (Active) {LVL: 13}]  
MP Cost: 5 per minute  
Passive: +23% DEX  
Passive: 15% Chance of Successful Sneak  
Active: 43% DEX  
Active: 19% Chance of Successful Sneak  
You sneaky little thing, you! With this, you can hide in the shadows like a ninja! Works Hand-in-Hand with [Steal], [Lockpick], and [Pickpocket]**

 **[Physical Enhancement (Active) {LVL: 5}]  
MP Cost: 20 per minute  
Passive: +10% STR  
Passive: -10% damage taken from physical attacks  
Active: +50% STR  
Active: -50% damage taken from physical strikes  
Do you want to be a tank type? Well, this is the skill for you! It enhances your physical abilities, AND strengthens your physical defenses! A two-in-one package!**

 **[Cuss (Active) {LVL: 137}]  
MP Cost: 0  
Do you get mad sometimes? Sometimes the best way to vent all of that anger is to just throw some vulgar language around! It'll get you calm in _no time_!**

 **[Magic Manipulation (Passive) {LVL: 5}]  
** **Passive: -9% MP cost for all MP skills  
Passive: 13% easier to make MP skills  
** **Do you want to use MP but not have enough of it? Well, here's your answer!**

 **Reputation:**

 **Dursley Family: -3500/10000 {Hated}  
Petunia Dursley: -3410/10000 {Hated}  
** **Little Whinging: -100/10000 {Disliked}**


	5. Harry's a SPELUNKER!

"Talking"

 _"Different Language. Doesn't matter which one."_

 _Thinking_

 **[Gamer shit]**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or even The Gamer. Slight crossover, by the way.**

* * *

Last Time on Wizard Gamer's Exploits:

 _Harry found an MP cheat._

 _Harry went into a dungeon and had an EPIC battle with a... rat._

* * *

This Time on Wizard Gamer's Exploits:

Harry saw something on the floor where he killed the rat. He also saw a distinct _lack_ of dead rat.

"Is that... money?" Harry wondered out loud. He picked it up and looked at it. It was definitely a £20 note. And there were four more on the ground! He picked them all up and said, "Inventory."

A screen appeared in front of him.

 **Items: 7/2500**

 **Steak x1  
** **Buttered Bread x1  
** **Bacon x62  
** **Bottle of Water x5  
Blade of Grass x658  
Bicycle Tire x12  
'Yo Mama' Joke Book x1**

While the first four were true, where did he get the grass, tires, and joke book? He tried taking the grass out, but it only came out a blade at a time. Fuck. Oh well, it wasn't harming anyone, and it certainly didn't take up too much space at all. So, Harry ignored it in favor of putting the money in the inventory, except it didn't appear in any of the boxes. Instead, another tab appeared at the top called 'Money'. Heh, might as well check it out.

 **Money: £100/0G/0S/0K**

 **£20 Note x5**

Well, this Gamer power was _very_ organized. Now, however, there were two tabs. Items and Money. Oh, wait, there's now another one, called Food. It seems the power was organizing itself, and correcting itself based on what it was doing in different spots. Interesting.

Harry closed his Inventory and started walking again. He needed to get to this boss so that he could get more EXP. He needed to level up, because even after three years he's still behind in levels. Worst part is, most classmates levelled up again. Now, they were level 7 while he was still 6. Fuck, how come he couldn't get on their level? Oh yeah, because he needed to get EXP while they could just do chores. Oh well, he was going to become a _God_ soon and they would be worshipping him, kissing the ground he walked on, and licking the shit off his boots. Actually, his boots would be squeaky clean, because he would be a God.

Oh yeah, there were still rats trying to attack him.

"Fuck! At least wait until I'm ready, you fucking asshole!" Harry shouted at the stupid rat that seemed to be grinning at him stupidly. At least he wanted to kill something now, since he had something right in front of him that needed killing.

Harry did exactly the same thing he did with the last one, except for the fact that he took no hits. Yeah, that's right, he was getting _badass_!

 **[+100 EXP]  
** **[+£100]**

Three more of them came, one at a time of course, and got him more EXP.

 **[+100 EXP]  
[+£100]**

 **[+100 EXP]  
[+£100]**

 **[+100 EXP]  
[+£100]**

Soon enough, he got to a huge-ass door that was about as tall as his house was.

"What the fuck is it with dungeons and big-ass doors?" Harry asked no one in particular. Suddenly, a screen appeared in front of him.

 **[Ignore the big door. Go in, young Gamer. My first sentence rhymed. Appreciate the subtleties of life, young Gamer.]**

Confused as all hell now, Harry opened the door and walked inside.

And instantly threw up.

"What the fuck?! Why the hell does it smell like someone shat in a box of week-old dirty socks and then threw six rotten eggs in there, then blended it all up and dumped it all over the room?!" Harry gagged out. Yeah, he was gagging for a long time.

Reluctantly, he started walking into the Lair of Shitty Smells.

Further inside, he found the boss. It was a big rat. A reeeeaaaally big rat. As in, 'twelve-feet-tall-and-seventeen-feet-long' big.

Well, fuck.

* * *

 **"Who goes there?"** the rat called out. Harry looked confused.

"How the hell did you speak in bold? I thought only Gamer shit did that?" Harry asked confusedly. The rat looked smug.

 **"I have ascended to a higher being of living,"** the rat explained. Harry shrugged and decided to leave it as it was. After all, he couldn't know that animals could only speak in bold, since they couldn't speak human. And, since it was still English, it couldn't classify as a different language, so no italics. Yeah, speech of animal english was weird.

 **"Anyway, who are you, human?"** the rat asked in its weird squeaky baritone voice.

"I've come to challenge the boss of this dungeon." The rat looked pleased.

 **"Very well, I shall have a feast tonight!"** the rat shouted. Harry looked at it and whispered, "Observe," for a little information.

 **Dungeon Rat King  
LVL: 14  
**

 **HP: 600/600  
MP: 100/100**

 **Be careful, because the Dungeon Rat King has taken the liberty of building its strength to overcome the natural Dungeon Rat Weakness of less strength.**

Okay, he could work with that. The hard part, though, was the fact that the rat was almost three times his level. Well, he was fucked anyway, why not fuck him over more?

* * *

The giant rat started the battle by jumping about fifteen feet into the air, landing back down right where Harry was, before he rolled out of the way. While he had the opportunity, Harry struck the rat twice, taking away 30 HP. Oh boy, 570 HP to go.

The rat swung its leg at Harry almost faster than Harry could move. Harry put up his shield just in time, but he was still sent flying backwards a few feet and he lost 20 HP. He quickly retreated and filled his HP bar by eating 10 pieces of bacon and his toast. He activated his **[Sprint]** skill and ran at the rat, holding his mace up and screaming. The screaming was for pure suspense effect, and only wasted his breath. What a fool.

Not even realizing it, Harry imbued magic into the mace when he struck.

 **[Through your action, you have created the skill [Explosive Strike]!]**

Okay, so putting magic into a weapon and discharging it when it hits creates an explosion. Good to know.

Well, the mace broke. Also, 500 HP to go.

"Holy fuck!" Harry shouted in panic as he ducked under a speeding paw going for his head.

"Let's see if **[Explosive Strike]** works with a shield!" Harry screamed at the rat as he swung his shield arm while activating the skill. When it made contact, it made a much bigger explosion since it had a larger surface to explode off of.

410 HP to go. The strike did 90 damage. "Hell yeah!"

Harry quickly ran away from the rat and checked his MP. it was at 20, which meant that each power strike used 50 MP. Well, shit.

* * *

For the next fifteen minutes, Harry just bashed the rat with his shield whenever he could. Altogether, it did almost nothing. 390 HP to go. However, he did have two more **[Explosive Strike]** s now.

Okay, no more explosive strikes left, except 210 HP to go. Damn, this guy was tough. On a plus note, he did just level up his **[Explosive Strike]** skill.

Harry disabled the **[Physical Enhancement]** skill and let his HP regenerate fully in five minutes, giving him another two **[Explosive Strike]** s. When he charged the rat with his shield and struck it once, the shield broke.

"Fuckin' hell, really?!" Harry shouted in annoyance. He still had 120 HP to go, and he didn't even have a weapon!

Wait! He had bicycle tires! Maybe he could throw them to have the same effect!

"Inventory!" Harry looked through the Inventory on the **Items** tab and grabbed a tire before closing the inventory so it could stop impeding his vision. He started streaming magic into the tire and threw it like a disc. It flew true and hit the giant, hard-to-miss rat in the nose and exploded on impact.

 **[Through your action, you have created the skill [Explosive Projectile]!]**

Hell yeah! There're eleven more where that came from, bitch!

Oh, never mind. That bike tire did 120 damage. Overpowered, much?

 **[+1000 EXP]**

* * *

Harry walked over to where the giant rat was and saw that he got some spoils of war. This time, he got ten £50 notes, equaling £500, he got what looked to be some health potions, and he got a book labelled **[Skill [ID Create]]**. So worth the near death experience. And the other four near death experiences.

 **[Quest Complete!**

 **Rewards:**

 **+200 EXP  
+£200 (in £20 notes)  
Skill Book [ID Create]  
Title [Vermin Hunter]]**

 **[Would you like to equip Title [Vermin Hunter]?**

 **Y/N]**

Harry immediately clicked yes, not bothering to read what the title meant. He'd check it out later.

He walked up the stairs that led to the end of the dungeon, coming out behind the building he started in front of. Come to think of it, how did he even get in front of the building? He was just running around the neighborhood, and the building was a city building.

Eh, whatever.

Harry activated his sprinting skill and ran home in six minutes. How did he travel almost three miles when the length of the neighborhood wasn't even one mile?

Well, Harry arrived just in time to make dinner and go to sleep.

* * *

 **Footnote: AND DONE!**

 **Holy hell, this chapter took more than an hour. My longest one yet. I had a small writer's block in the beginning, but after I ate a sandwich, the chapter just flew by. I'm sorry about the boss fight, but I suck at writing fight scenes. I'm much better at reading them.**

 **If you noticed that I changed the EXP gain from the rats, that's because I want Harry to get to level eight in two years. At the rate he's going now, it'll take about three days to get there, with my increased EXP gain. However, I'm going to limit going into that dungeon by making it possible to go into it once a month. After all, dungeons are rare!**

 **Harry is going to get a Rat ID, however all the rats will be at about LVL 5 and the boss will be at LVL 9, which will only give about 200 EXP so he'll need to work harder to get to LVL 8.**

 **Also, if you hadn't noticed, the amount of EXP needed per level I've made is 500 more each time. Once he reaches level 10 it'll go up by 1000, and once he reaches level 20 it'll go up by 2000, and level 50 is 15,000. It makes it _really_ difficult to level up after this chapter.**

 **Harry Potter  
** **[The Gamer]  
** **LVL: 5 {EXP: 1750/2500}**

 **Title: Vermin Hunter  
Race: ?**

 **Money: £1300/0G/0S/0K**

 **HP: 70/70  
MP: 120/120**

 **STR: 14(+1.4)=15.4  
DEX: 6(+0.6)=6.6  
AGI: 13(+3.38)=16.38  
INT: 21  
WIS: 27  
CHA: 0  
LUK: 0**

 **Ailments: None**

 **Points to Allocate: 30**

 **Skills:**

 **[Gamers Mind (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Mind allows the Gamer to stay calm in stressful situations. Keeps mind altering abilities from affecting the Gamer.**

 **[Gamer's Body (Passive) {LVL: MAX}]  
The Gamer's Body allows the Gamer to live life like a video game. Give the body the properties of a video game. Look at Options Menu for blood to be enabled or disabled.**

 **[Cooking (Passive) {LVL: 24}]  
** **Cooking is a skill that will woo _all_ the ladies. It'll give you their friendship, and maybe even something more... *wink, wink*  
Oh yeah, it also heals you, if made well. At your level, it heals miniscule HP & MP**

 **[Observe (Active) {LVL: 11}]  
MP Cost: 1 Per Observation  
You see it, but do you really _see_ it? Use [Observe] to get information on it!**

 **[Running (Passive) {LVL: 19}]  
Passive: 26% AGI increase  
** **Running helps you run faster, dumbass. At this level, you run 22 mph.**

 **[Sprinting (Active) {LVL: 21}]  
MP Cost: 3 MP per minute  
Sprinting makes you sprint faster, dumbass. At this level, you sprint 44 mph.**

 **[Sneak (Active) {LVL: 13}]  
MP Cost: 5 per minute  
Passive: +10% DEX  
Passive: 2% Chance of Successful Sneak  
Active: 30% DEX  
Active: 6% Chance of Successful Sneak  
You sneaky little thing, you! With this, you can hide in the shadows like a ninja! Works Hand-in-Hand with [Steal], [Lockpick], and [Pickpocket]**

 **[Physical Enhancement (Active) {LVL: 5}]  
MP Cost: 20 per minute  
Passive: +10% STR  
Passive: -10% damage taken from physical attacks  
Active: +50% STR  
Active: -50% damage taken from physical strikes  
Do you want to be a tank type? Well, this is the skill for you! It enhances your physical abilities, AND strengthens your physical defenses! A two-in-one package!**

 **[Cuss (Active) {LVL: 137}]  
MP Cost: 0  
Do you get mad sometimes? Sometimes the best way to vent all of that anger is to just throw some vulgar language around! It'll get you calm in _no time_!**

 **[Magic Manipulation (Passive) {LVL: 5}]  
** **Passive: -9% MP cost for all MP skills  
Passive: 13% easier to make MP skills  
** **Do you want to use MP but not have enough of it? Well, here's your answer!**

 **[Explosive Strike (Active) {LVL: 2}]  
MP Cost: 49 per strike  
Do you enjoy destroying things with weapons? Do you enjoy explosions? Then this is the skill for you!**

 **[Explosive Projectile (Active) {LVL: 1}]  
MP Cost: 70 per projectile  
Don't have a weapon? That's okay, everything's a weapon! Give it a little MP, and BOOM! Hooray!**

 **Reputation:**

 **Dursley Family: -3500/10000 {Hated}  
Petunia Dursley: -3410/10000 {Hated}  
** **Little Whinging: -100/10000 {Disliked}**


End file.
